[ She doesn't show up at his door right away when he returns. It isn't until a day or two later. She knows he's back on the station and in one piece, and that's enough. And she isn't here to check up on him now. If the once-over she gives him seems a little more careful than usual and a little less flirtatious, then it must be his imagination. She hadn't even been worried; he can ask anyone. ]
I guess you thought we couldn't make it without you.
[ She'd been aiming for a lightly teasing tone, but the words come out too softly. ]
[ Of course not. She's River. River Song, an absolute badass, she would carry on and curse his name and be the glorious handful that she always is. River Song; Melody Pond. (What a woman.)
And yet the Doctor feels like his own hearts might burst seeing her again, mouth slowly curving into a smile in reaction to her comment. ]
Well, I'm not wrong, am I?
[ He keeps his tone soft to match hers, with just an edge of teasing as well. And then he swallows. ]
[ The word nearly chokes her, but she keeps her voice level, smiling for him. It echoes another conversation in another time and place. Those had been different circumstances, but the feeling's the same. A moment of joy in the midst of devastation.
She steps closer, smoothing her hands across his chest, idly straightening his bowtie. It's an anxious habit she doesn't remember developing, but one she's had for the better part of their relationship. ]
I think we were doing fine, but we get along better as four than we do as three.
[ The Doctor's smile widens a little, an eyebrow ever-so-slightly quirked — it's the way of things with River, particularly with this face. There's always the slightest edge of flirtation in every one of their interactions.
Of course, he remembers a little more than he did before he'd first stepped into this station. He remembers the last time they'd seen each other, when she had been a mere memory wandering the empty wasteland of Trenzalore ... of course they still touched — well, he touched her, he knows what the others probably saw (or didn't see). But he remembers dancing in Braccia, too. Of a Christmas spent in a toyshop and skating on a pond with the sun setting behind them.
Strange how one could be away for the briefest blip of time and come back feeling like a whole different person. ]
Don't let it go to your head. The last thing we need is you having more ego.
[ Part of her had been so sure it wouldn't matter. She knows this is just another stolen moment, like countless others. There isn't anything for her to go back to, whether her regret is ultimately resolved or not.
It shouldn't be any different than any other time in their long and colorful relationship, taking what she's given and then carrying on. But somehow it is. Maybe because there isn't anything for her to go back to, because she's been living half a life, clinging to the ever-fading hope he'd come back for far longer than she should. And here he is, and she's angry and she's thrilled and she's so afraid to keep hoping it makes her hearts ache.
Somehow it's different, and it had hurt more than she's used to when he'd gone.
Her hand lingers quietly on his chest a moment longer, then she leans in to kiss his cheek before pulling back with a smile. ]
[ The Doctor huffs a laugh, but he doesn't try to deny it either, shifting to grasp at her fingers with his. He holds onto her hand for just a moment before she can pull back fully.
And then he lets out a breath to survey the room. All of his hats and other paraphernalia left in its place (well, tidied up a bit, actually; he can see that), remnants of scribbles and doodles still left on the wall from some night he and his older self had been debating principles of string theory for a laugh, and one of his old bowties still draped over the side of a chair. ]
Yes — well, about as settled as I can be. Nothing really changed here, but I knew that might be the case. But all those years I lived back out there — [ He lets go of her hand, eyes brightening as though he's flipped a switch. ] — timey wimey.
[ Oh, she knows. She brings her hand back up to cup his cheek. ]
Finally caught up to me, have you?
[ She doesn't mean they're in parallel, of course, but they've both reached the end of their story.
River's always loved the Doctor no matter what face he shows up with. She's always seen the same person, never questioned it, never even considered when she married him that she might only be married to that him. She has raised some confusion when commenting on her dozen husbands.
But as much as she knows their similarities, she also knows their differences. And in some way, he does die, this him. ]
[ The Doctor nods, leaning in just a little to her touch. It's subtle but it's enough to make clear just how important this moment is to him, how much he hadn't been ready to say goodbye to all of this.
And his regret aside (something he is still determined to see undone, not just for him, but for her, for some River out there who might still have some chance to pop in and out of her parents' lives), he'd become ... somewhat comfortable with the idea of time going the right way around, because it seemed to have given all of them just a little more time with each other.
He understands that now more than he has thus far. Funny how coming so close to the end of your own regeneration seems to be the perfect time for thoughts like that. ]
[ There's a quiet softness in this moment, and she knows she hadn't been ready to say goodbye to all of this just yet either. She lets her touch linger against his skin, even as she draws her hand back. If her eyes are glistening, that's probably his imagination. Because she certainly isn't going to cry.
Instead, she smooths his shirt again (entirely unnecessarily) and carefully looks him over. ]
Good. Because I haven't finished with you either.
[ Unspoken words hover between them, but even now, she can't bring herself to say them. The only thing in the Universe the confuses the Doctor is love. One day she'll tell them, both of them. Before it's too late, before they all leave here. Eventually. (Probably not.)
For now, she kisses him quickly and lightly, briefly pressing her forehead to his. ]
[ The kiss is soft and quick, but it feels familiar too. ]
River.
[ He murmurs her name, letting his eyes close as she presses her forehead to his. He slides his arms around her then, to hold her close in a comfortable embrace. It isn't something they do very often, but at this moment it feels right. At this moment he needs to feel the solidness of her when she hasn't really been alive for ... well, years.
The thought is even more poignant, having just come back from living all of the new memories he now carries with him. River has been gone for so long, and the last time they'd met in Trenzalore, she'd been ... an artifact of herself. It had broken his hearts having to confront that.
The Doctor, after all, hates endings. (Really, really hates them.)
But she is gone, and this River is still moving in a time not aligned with his; such is the way of their relationship. Such is the way it's always been.
When he pulls back, it's to lightly (and fondly) boop her nose, to dispel the seriousness and the tragedy of his thoughts catching up with him. ]
[ She lets herself relax in his embrace, sink into it, and for River, that's what it feels like to be coming home.
A rock, an orphanage, Earth, the university, Stormcage. There are plenty of places she's lived, but her home has always been a person. No matter where he goes or what face he's wearing.
It's all too soon when he pulls back again, but she smiles at the familiar gesture. ]
Yes, my love, I think it is.
[ She chuckles, palm pressing flat against his chest. ] We could do worse.
[ It isn’t exactly how he envisioned the last of his regeneration with this face, but this shouldn’t have happened at all anyway. He’d almost been ready, he thinks, to turn into the old man with the cross eyebrows and the grey hair. But this feels like a gift, or that humany thing they call a miracle, and he doesn’t know if he’s thankful for it or whether he ought to be suspicious of the means that Viveca and the Commander seem to have to bring him back. But he hadn’t completed his contract, he hadn’t undone his regret, and so perhaps it stands to reason that whatever it is that binds him to it could bring him back from the edge of his death. Strange sort of science (or magic), that.
For now, he won’t think too much further on it. For now he’ll simply be grateful for this second wind, and to spend this evening with River before a new mission file undoubtedly falls into their laps.
He folds a hand over the one at his chest, resting it there for a moment before he takes it, fingers slowly lacing with hers. ]
Do you remember when we used to go to parties? Saved a Queen who was a goldfish once, didn’t we? And there was the Calderon Beta, that one time, the planet with the boring chip shops but then there was the tree.
[ He smiles. ]
Now, it’s nowhere near the same, I know, but how do you feel about a picnic in the sunlight room, eh? You and me, I'll whip something up.
[ River has been rather suspicious of the means they have for bringing them all here ever since she found herself pulled from The Library with two beating hearts and a physical presence. But she doesn't want to question it having brought him back, doesn't want to feel the desperate ache in her chest at his absence.
And it's so nice to have his hand tangled up with hers, she nearly misses the fact he's started talking again. ]
The stars were beautiful.
[ Truth is, she'd hardly looked at the stars at all that night. She'd been too busy watching him, the way the starlight played across his features and his face lit up with delight.
She leans in, burying her face against his neck. ]
[ The Doctor’s smile veers mischievous and just this side of cheeky, already concocting a few fun little ideas in his head based on the ingredients he knows are hidden in the pantry. It’ll be quick, of course, wouldn’t want to waste any time, and it’d likely be a whole lot of sweet too — but for River, he would make sure to have an assortment. A little savoury, a little delightfully alien, just the way they like it.
But he wraps his arms around her properly for now, gathering her close. ]
[ She smiles, leaning into him as she laughs. He's ridiculous, but he's hers. Partly anyway. And she can accept that. She always has. ]
I wouldn't miss it.
[ Whatever he tries to feed her.
She lingers in his arms a moment longer, breathing in the quiet, and when she finally pulls away it's with another gentle kiss and the warm promise of, 'I'll see you later.' But it isn't goodbye, and she thinks maybe they're both a little more grateful for that than they were before. ]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
action;
I guess you thought we couldn't make it without you.
[ She'd been aiming for a lightly teasing tone, but the words come out too softly. ]
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And yet the Doctor feels like his own hearts might burst seeing her again, mouth slowly curving into a smile in reaction to her comment. ]
Well, I'm not wrong, am I?
[ He keeps his tone soft to match hers, with just an edge of teasing as well. And then he swallows. ]
Hello again.
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[ The word nearly chokes her, but she keeps her voice level, smiling for him. It echoes another conversation in another time and place. Those had been different circumstances, but the feeling's the same. A moment of joy in the midst of devastation.
She steps closer, smoothing her hands across his chest, idly straightening his bowtie. It's an anxious habit she doesn't remember developing, but one she's had for the better part of their relationship. ]
I think we were doing fine, but we get along better as four than we do as three.
[ Which is her way of saying she'd missed him. ]
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Of course, he remembers a little more than he did before he'd first stepped into this station. He remembers the last time they'd seen each other, when she had been a mere memory wandering the empty wasteland of Trenzalore ... of course they still touched — well, he touched her, he knows what the others probably saw (or didn't see). But he remembers dancing in Braccia, too. Of a Christmas spent in a toyshop and skating on a pond with the sun setting behind them.
Strange how one could be away for the briefest blip of time and come back feeling like a whole different person. ]
We do make quite the team, don't we?
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[ Part of her had been so sure it wouldn't matter. She knows this is just another stolen moment, like countless others. There isn't anything for her to go back to, whether her regret is ultimately resolved or not.
It shouldn't be any different than any other time in their long and colorful relationship, taking what she's given and then carrying on. But somehow it is. Maybe because there isn't anything for her to go back to, because she's been living half a life, clinging to the ever-fading hope he'd come back for far longer than she should. And here he is, and she's angry and she's thrilled and she's so afraid to keep hoping it makes her hearts ache.
Somehow it's different, and it had hurt more than she's used to when he'd gone.
Her hand lingers quietly on his chest a moment longer, then she leans in to kiss his cheek before pulling back with a smile. ]
Have you settled back in?
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[ The Doctor huffs a laugh, but he doesn't try to deny it either, shifting to grasp at her fingers with his. He holds onto her hand for just a moment before she can pull back fully.
And then he lets out a breath to survey the room. All of his hats and other paraphernalia left in its place (well, tidied up a bit, actually; he can see that), remnants of scribbles and doodles still left on the wall from some night he and his older self had been debating principles of string theory for a laugh, and one of his old bowties still draped over the side of a chair. ]
Yes — well, about as settled as I can be. Nothing really changed here, but I knew that might be the case. But all those years I lived back out there — [ He lets go of her hand, eyes brightening as though he's flipped a switch. ] — timey wimey.
But you knew all that, eh?
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Finally caught up to me, have you?
[ She doesn't mean they're in parallel, of course, but they've both reached the end of their story.
River's always loved the Doctor no matter what face he shows up with. She's always seen the same person, never questioned it, never even considered when she married him that she might only be married to that him. She has raised some confusion when commenting on her dozen husbands.
But as much as she knows their similarities, she also knows their differences. And in some way, he does die, this him. ]
I'm glad you're back, Sweetie.
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And his regret aside (something he is still determined to see undone, not just for him, but for her, for some River out there who might still have some chance to pop in and out of her parents' lives), he'd become ... somewhat comfortable with the idea of time going the right way around, because it seemed to have given all of them just a little more time with each other.
He understands that now more than he has thus far. Funny how coming so close to the end of your own regeneration seems to be the perfect time for thoughts like that. ]
I wasn't finished here, not yet.
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Instead, she smooths his shirt again (entirely unnecessarily) and carefully looks him over. ]
Good. Because I haven't finished with you either.
[ Unspoken words hover between them, but even now, she can't bring herself to say them. The only thing in the Universe the confuses the Doctor is love. One day she'll tell them, both of them. Before it's too late, before they all leave here. Eventually. (Probably not.)
For now, she kisses him quickly and lightly, briefly pressing her forehead to his. ]
Welcome home, Sweetie.
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River.
[ He murmurs her name, letting his eyes close as she presses her forehead to his. He slides his arms around her then, to hold her close in a comfortable embrace. It isn't something they do very often, but at this moment it feels right. At this moment he needs to feel the solidness of her when she hasn't really been alive for ... well, years.
The thought is even more poignant, having just come back from living all of the new memories he now carries with him. River has been gone for so long, and the last time they'd met in Trenzalore, she'd been ... an artifact of herself. It had broken his hearts having to confront that.
The Doctor, after all, hates endings. (Really, really hates them.)
But she is gone, and this River is still moving in a time not aligned with his; such is the way of their relationship. Such is the way it's always been.
When he pulls back, it's to lightly (and fondly) boop her nose, to dispel the seriousness and the tragedy of his thoughts catching up with him. ]
Suppose this really is our home now, isn't it?
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A rock, an orphanage, Earth, the university, Stormcage. There are plenty of places she's lived, but her home has always been a person. No matter where he goes or what face he's wearing.
It's all too soon when he pulls back again, but she smiles at the familiar gesture. ]
Yes, my love, I think it is.
[ She chuckles, palm pressing flat against his chest. ] We could do worse.
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[ It isn’t exactly how he envisioned the last of his regeneration with this face, but this shouldn’t have happened at all anyway. He’d almost been ready, he thinks, to turn into the old man with the cross eyebrows and the grey hair. But this feels like a gift, or that humany thing they call a miracle, and he doesn’t know if he’s thankful for it or whether he ought to be suspicious of the means that Viveca and the Commander seem to have to bring him back. But he hadn’t completed his contract, he hadn’t undone his regret, and so perhaps it stands to reason that whatever it is that binds him to it could bring him back from the edge of his death. Strange sort of science (or magic), that.
For now, he won’t think too much further on it. For now he’ll simply be grateful for this second wind, and to spend this evening with River before a new mission file undoubtedly falls into their laps.
He folds a hand over the one at his chest, resting it there for a moment before he takes it, fingers slowly lacing with hers. ]
Do you remember when we used to go to parties? Saved a Queen who was a goldfish once, didn’t we? And there was the Calderon Beta, that one time, the planet with the boring chip shops but then there was the tree.
[ He smiles. ]
Now, it’s nowhere near the same, I know, but how do you feel about a picnic in the sunlight room, eh? You and me, I'll whip something up.
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And it's so nice to have his hand tangled up with hers, she nearly misses the fact he's started talking again. ]
The stars were beautiful.
[ Truth is, she'd hardly looked at the stars at all that night. She'd been too busy watching him, the way the starlight played across his features and his face lit up with delight.
She leans in, burying her face against his neck. ]
Try not to get too creative.
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[ The Doctor’s smile veers mischievous and just this side of cheeky, already concocting a few fun little ideas in his head based on the ingredients he knows are hidden in the pantry. It’ll be quick, of course, wouldn’t want to waste any time, and it’d likely be a whole lot of sweet too — but for River, he would make sure to have an assortment. A little savoury, a little delightfully alien, just the way they like it.
But he wraps his arms around her properly for now, gathering her close. ]
Meet me in the sunlight room?
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I wouldn't miss it.
[ Whatever he tries to feed her.
She lingers in his arms a moment longer, breathing in the quiet, and when she finally pulls away it's with another gentle kiss and the warm promise of, 'I'll see you later.' But it isn't goodbye, and she thinks maybe they're both a little more grateful for that than they were before. ]